Just wondering....

A couple of weeks ago we had a lesson in Relief Society about "Hope" - one of the legs of a three-footed stool (faith, hope, charity).

Chuck said his Priesthood lesson was on the same thing and they were talking about despair. One of the men who has dealt with a lot of adversity in his life - one thing being the recent loss of his wife, made the comment that despite everything he has never felt despair.

I don't think I have ever felt "despair" either, because there was always "hope" and I've always felt that no matter how bad things might be a brighter day would come.

Then I wondered...... do people commit suicide because they have despair - no "hope". I suppose there are varied reasons why someone would take their own life, but it seems to me they must not have "hope" ---- hope that there would be a brighter tomorrow.

I have often felt that it must be terrible to be so mentally, physically, or emotionally unhappy that you would choose death over life.

Anyway.... just wondering.

Our Mortality

This year has not started out good! First my good friend Mandy died. Then on January 12th a brother-in-law died and on January 18th my sister died (the one I was closest to). They say things happen in "threes" - so we've had our three!

Also, on January 8th I finished my radiation treatment for breast cancer. I felt like I sailed through this whole breast cancer thing in a very positive manner.

But... when I went to the oncologist after the radiation was over I was told that I have an abnormality in my blood - some immune system thing. They want blood checks every six months because if this abnormality gets out of control it could go into bone cancer. Wonderful news!

For some reason this news hit me worse than the breast cancer thing and I was in a funk and feeling down for several hours that day. Plus, I felt I didn't get much sympathy from family members that I told about this. I think I just wanted someone to say something like, "Gosh, I'm sorry you have something else to be concerned about." I got over my "poor me" attitude within a few hours - thank goodness.

For years I've told my worrier husband, "Don't worry until there is something to worry about!" It was interesting to me that he is now quoting me the same thing.

All this "stuff" has caused me to think more about our mortality.

What a day!

Today was my friend Mandy's funeral. It was very nice.

I did “ok” as far as not crying until her oldest daughter got up at the end. She is fun to listen to and after living in Texas for the past eight years she has developed a Texas accent. She told a lot of funny things about her mother, but some very touching ones also.

She told the audience not to be sad as her mother is “excited to be where she is” and asked us to be excited for her.

She told how Mandy would always sing church hymns to her kids when they were squabbling. One was “Jesus said Love everyone, treat them kindly too. If your heart is filled with love, others will love you.” Jennifer asked the audience to join her in singing this. Very touching. Mandy really lived her life by the words of this song. One thing I admired about her was her unconditional love for people and her total love of the Savior. Things I will strive harder to emulate. She was a wonderful person.

I was pretty tired by the time we got home as I had spent most of my day at the church – setting up for the family meal after the funeral, attending the funeral, then helping serve the meal and cleaning up afterward. When I got home about 5:30 p.m., I thought I would just relax for the rest of the evening. Not so.

The phone rang about 8:00 p.m. It was Scott saying, “Can you guys come over ASAP and bring towels or whatever you can as our basement is flooding again.” A Chinook wind had come up and was rapidly melting the foot of snow on the roofs and on the ground. Scott’s sump pump was not working and water from the run off was coming into his basement. When we got there his wife and little kids were busy sopping up water and wringing out their towels. I worked alongside Jordyn (age 9) who was so cute in saying, “Grandma, what would we do without you!”

We used our shop/vac to suck up water and that helped a lot. In walking around other edges of their family room, Scott found more wet carpet. I left about 11:00 p.m. feeling so sorry for them.